Before my blog’s updates last month, I have been MIA for like five months. It even came to my mind to give up for I’m almost losing the spark to blog. I don’t really mean inspiration because it’s always there. I just lost the guts and motivation to sit in front of my laptop and type I’m sure some of you have experienced this. And it’s totally weird that I’ve always wanted to regularly update this blog but can’t find the willingness to do so. Most of the time, my body won’t cooperate. And no, I’m not sick.
My son turned 2 last April and I did almost everything DIY. When he turned 1 last year, I had most of the things needed ordered and had them shipped. Yes, costly. This year, I decided to just make use of my time instead to prepare everything on my own. It took me more than 2 weeks to finish name standees for I had only available time during my son’s sleeping hours. I was able to save 75% for the standee alone. Each 8″ letter standee will cost you 80 pesos and since my son’s name has 14 letters, I may need to pay more than a thousand. While doing it on my own only cost me less than 300. I also designed and print invitation cards on my own.
For the last couple of months, we had to go to the city almost every week and traveling with a picky-eater toddler is sometimes a struggle. Most of the time food found in the malls are not his type so we often ended up with nuggets or waffles or cereals and just breastfed.
When my son turned 2, I know for a fact that my breastmilk is no longer enough to support the nutrition he needs. Unfortunately, he’s a breastmilk dependent. Whenever he saw me preparing food, he will immediately cry for ‘dede’. And more often than not won’t get up in the morning unless he’s already full with breastmilk, another reason to refuse breakfast and other meals. Although he remained very active, it was very noticeable how much he lost weight.
As a first time mother and a breastfeeding one, it is very hard for me to finally come to a decision to stop nursing my child. At first, I was really hesitant, actually more on being worried about the outcome. It is one of a kind bonding a mother and child could have and I’m pretty sure that by this time I’m writing this post, I am missing it, so much!
Seeing my son wanting to nurse but couldn’t is really hard. I felt guilty most of the time. Even asked myself if I’m a good mom or is it really the right time to stop. But because of the food refusal and breastmilk dependent of a 2-year-old child, I believe I have made the right decision. Basing on how my son is now, a toddler who wakes up every morning with a good appetite for the rest of the day is somehow rewarding.