There was a time I stopped taking pictures of myself – not because I didn’t have the opportunity or a decent camera, but because I couldn’t bear to see myself through the lens. I’d open the front camera, stare for a second, then quickly turn it off. “What happened to me?” I’d whisper to myself. I didn’t like what I saw anymore.
It wasn’t just about my physical appearance. It was deeper. It was how I felt inside – unseen, unworthy, unlovable. I let those feelings sit with me until they started to define how I viewed myself entirely. I convinced myself that the world didn’t need another picture of me, especially one I wasn’t proud of.
Social media didn’t help. Every scroll became a highlight reel of flawless skin, sculpted bodies, and perfect smiles. It became easier to shrink myself into silence, into invisibility. I avoided mirrors. I turned down invites. I stopped documenting memories. It wasn’t vanity, I just felt like I didn’t deserve to be remembered.
But I’ve come to understand that beauty isn’t something we owe anyone. It isn’t a fixed definition set by society or filtered images. It’s personal. It’s evolving. And sometimes, it’s buried under layers of pain, comparison, and self-doubt, but it’s still there.
I started small. I took photos of my surroundings, the food I made, the sunsets I admired. Slowly, I turned the camera back toward myself, not to post, but to remember who I was. Some days I still wince at the pictures. Other days, I smile. Healing is not linear.
Today, I don’t always feel beautiful. But I try to be kind. Kind to the woman who’s been through things no filter could ever erase. Kind to the version of me that forgot her worth for a while. And kind to the future me, who will someday look back and be grateful I didn’t completely disappear.
If you’re reading this and you’ve stopped taking photos of yourself because you feel ugly, I want you to know this: you are not alone. And you are not ugly. You are a person with a story, with moments worth capturing, and a light that deserves to be seen… especially by yourself.
Start with one photo. Not for validation. Not for likes. Just for you. To remind yourself that you are still here. And that matters.
Because even in the mess, even in the low days, you are worth remembering.